FEATURE: Number 72 in Sudbury strives to support people struggling with challenges of parenting

Inspired by their personal experiences, Tim and Joy Ayrton were keen to offer vital support for individuals struggling with the challenges of being a parent.

Having run a family and community support service at Sudbury Baptist Church for several years, the couple, from Acton, decided to expand their outreach by establishing Number 72 in North Street.

“We felt we could be more effective working in the community,” says Tim, a father of two grown-up sons.

“It can be very isolating if you find parenting is difficult. It was that type of isolation that we had known ourselves, and from other people in a similar situation, that encouraged us to set up the charity.”

Encouraging people to share their problems can help to alleviate the feeling of loneliness.

“People need to be listened to and be given help to understand that they’re not on their own,” says Tim.

Established in 2007 as a cafe and drop-in centre, the facility provides a safe haven for families and individuals to receive free help or advice from a dedicated group of qualified staff and volunteers, who specialise in a wide range of issues including parenting, bereavement, loss and anxiety.

The charity runs courses which offers support and advice to help individuals manage the demands of being a parent.

“We build a relationship with the parents; it is a place where they won’t feel judged,” says centre manager Rob McNeish, who has recognised a common theme among individuals he has worked with.

“One of the things I notice is that I can be talking to a parent who has the most difficult problems, and, what is clear is that they love their child, but they’re just struggling, so we build on the love that they have.”

Helping to guide people through their problems plays a crucial part in the team’s role.

“We are here to hold their hands and to walk them through the process; we are a place to cry, to listen and to work out what’s going on,” says Rob.

For many people, dealing with multiple issues can prove an overwhelming experience, so identifying the key problem areas forms a crucial part of the first session.

“We try to encourage them to put everything into different compartments and, from the first session, they can gain a sense of perspective,” says Rob.

Manned by a support worker, a cafe situated on the ground floor of the centre creates a relaxed setting, where people are made to feel welcome.

“It’s a place where someone can come off the street and have a one-to-one chat,” says Rob.

“Not everyone is going to be referred to us, so we make sure it is easy as possible to drop in. They sit down, pour out what’s going on in their life and we take it from there.”

The charity provides support for a large number of young people and teenagers struggling with various issues, including low self-esteem or anger management.

As part of the charity’s work with young people, two support workers visit Thomas Gainsborough School in Great Cornard to provide help and advice with students during weekly sessions.

“We help them to express their feelings,” says Rob. “What they often need is emotional support and advice.”

The team adopts a holistic approach, which often involves working with the young person and their family.

“We’ll establish what the key issues are and come up with an action plan,” says Rob.

Various methods are used to encourage youngsters to open up about their problems.

Simple tools, such as a jar of sand, can often prove effective in breaking down barriers.

A teenager was able to open up about a loved-one he had lost by associating each layer of coloured sand with a fond memory.

Reflecting on the effectiveness of the tool, Rob says it can represent a significant step in the healing process.

“It’s amazing that, for the first time, they can express what they’re feeling,” he says.

Among the projects being launched this year, the charity will be focusing on training two members of its staff to provide key support for victims of domestic abuse.

In their role as domestic abuse champions, they will learn how to tackle cases effectively, while liaising with the relevant agencies.

Despite the harrowing or challenging cases the team can be faced with each week, it is crucial that they adopt an objective viewpoint when working with individuals.

“We need to take a rational approach,” says Rob. “We are there to be the voice of reason and to put things in perspective.

“The situations can be so complex and seemingly insurmountable, but you find a path through it.”